New England Speak

The Letter "R", or the letter "R-uh"
No photo to share this time, just a quick lesson on how to speak like a New Englander. Please note, this only applies to those who live east of the Connecticut River, south of Lake Winnepesauke and, I hate to say this, but those who most likely have not gone to college. Nothing personal, but it's very true.

You can also pretty much exclude most Mainers, as they have a whole 'nother issue going on up there. Or, as they call it "Down East". What in the world does that even mean? Seriously! But I digress.

There are actually 2 simple rules.

Rule #1: this rule is the worst kept secret in the entire world. If a word has the letter "R" anywhere near the end, do not, under any circumstance, pronounce the "r".

Example: hah-bu: where you take your boat
bah: where you take your beer
pahk: where you take your Boston Terrier
bee-yuh: what you get at the "bah"
stai-yuhs: what you go down to enter the original Bull&Finch, aka "Cheers"

As you can see, sometimes it's quite necessary to turn a one syllable word into two syllables to follow this rule.

Rule #2: this rule is rather simple, and seems to be the New Englander's way of making up for all those lost "r"s. If a word ends with a vowel, or a silent consonant, add an "r" to the end. Simple enough!

Example: I hate wearing a brawr but I'll put one on anyway.
You've reached the lawr firm of Diddle and Doodle.

I once told a waitress, as a joke I might add between Roger and myself, "thank you for the "strawr". This got me into all kinds of trouble with that woman! You see, she had gone to college and was quite offended that perhaps I was insinuating that she was mispronouncing her words. Geewhilakers - it was only a joke that she wasn't even supposed to hea-yuh!

Rule #2a: Here's where it gets complicated. If a syllable ends in a vowel or silent consonant, throw in an "r".

Example: drawer = drahr-yu

Okay, I know, drawer is only pronounced with one syllable, but again, sometimes you just have to make it into two so you can follow the rule.

I'll provide more examples later as I have to make note of them when I hea-yuh them. In the meantime, class is ovah.