"The Warmth of Other Suns" - Isabel Wilkerson

"I was leaving the South

To fling myself into the unknown...

I was taking a part of the South

To transplant in alien soil,

To see if it could grow differently,

If it could drink of new and cool rains,

Bend in strange winds,

Respond to the warmth of other suns

And, perhaps, to bloom."

     - Richard Wright

Currently I'm reading "The Warmth of Other Suns", by Isabel Wilkerson, which painstakingly, yet so effortlessly, details the decades long migration of the African American population from the South to the nether regions of the United States, thereby forever changing society's landscape of the United States.

I'm early into this book which has completely captivated me, but before even reaching the Table of Contents I came across the above quote by Richard Wright, born and raised in Natchez, Mississippi in the early 1900's, who later migrated to Chicago.

The Blacks were escaping what was so much more than simple racism and prejudice, rather they were moving towards a life that could and should be lived without fear, and instead with a tangible hope for their future.

As a native Southerner it disheartens me to know that my ancestors most likely played a role in this as well, and on some level, continues today, mostly in the form of opinions that are best left unsaid.  Certainly there were no plantation owners in my lineage but I would like to think that my ancestors jumped to the rescue of maligned Blacks, but more than likely that did not occur.  Perhaps on occasion, but day-to-day, it's hard to fathom that they would have been any different than the rest of the Anglo population as they made their own migration as farmers from Virginia to Texas, and some on to Colorado.

How hopeful is Mr. Wright's perspective? "Respond to the warmth of other suns, And, perhaps, to bloom."

My own hope is to learn and grow from this book, and see how in my own little way I can resist the oh-so-easy temptation to lump individuals into one large category due to their racial makeup or income or otherwise.

I challenge everyone to find Ms. Wilkerson's book and to discover your own way to bloom in this world.

A Treasure Trove of Fun & Adventure

 

Susan and I met in 1980 at the beginning of our sophomore year in college.  We lived in West Hall, a dump of a dorm, located adjacent to what is now the University of North Texas.  

She had the room next door to me, Carol and Jane, and had one heck of a personality conflict with her assigned roommate.  Fortunately, her roommate had her fill of all of us, so she moved out mid-semester, which made room for Robin, another from Everman, to move in with Susan.  From then on it's been one adventure after another with my sister from another mister, and well, another mother!

Below are just a few highlights of the past 33 years, and please don't even begin to think we've wisely used our time rescuing small animals and pondering the mysteries of the universe.  No, we've always had much more important stuff to do!

Dallas, 199? - An irish bar, a martini bar, and one last Irish bar, and the misjudged height of a bar stool.

Austin, 199? - a phone book on the receiving end of Susan's rarely displayed anger.

France, 199? - final night of a 10 day trip with an impromptu group dinner involving a Frenchman, his ex-wife and her new British husband.  Oh, and Susan using her own cork screw to pop open a bottle of wine.  Needless to say the waitress was, how you say, furieuse!

Fort Lauderdale, 2000 - she met Roger and I, along with Nicole and her friend, in Florida to celebrate Nicole's 21st birthday. We all trekked down to Aruba's one evening to celebrate properly.  However, Roger wasn't feeling well so he returned to the hotel leaving us 4 ladies behind which turned into a rather raucous evening to say the least.  Closing time found the four of us, for reasons unknown, waddling home like ducks, only to encounter Roger who came looking for us as it was well past midnight.

New Orleans, 1985 - this trip trumped everything before and after.  Here a some highlights.
Discovering Bryan Lee, a blind blues singer who played at the Old Absinthe House.   Same name as my brother, but very different people indeed!   (http://www.braillebluesdaddy.com/bryan_lee_biography/)

A trip by taxi to an awesome restaurant where 2 things went horribly awry.  One, they didn't accept credit cards and we had no cash.  Two, the neighborhood was so dicey we could not get a cab to pick us up so we had to walk to the French Quarter.  After hooking up with a posse of hookers, as there's always safety in numbers, (right?) we were rescued by a woman in a cab who yelled at us to get into the cab "right now!" and she had us safely transported to the quarter.

Susan "tipping" a cab driver with something other than cash, and we'll leave it at that.

 

All of these adventures aside, and there's many more that will never be shared publicly, she's been there through thick and thin, always willing to lend an ear, share a beer, and just gab the night away.  Many a times the three of us would sit long into the night on the front porch of our home in Richardson waiting for even the slightest of a cool breeze. 

Now, it’s mostly long conversations on the phone when we chat about everything and chat about absolutely nothing, going so far as to take the phone to the bathroom to continue on.  Yeah, we’re that close!

We love you, Susan and I’ll see you in February on Aer Lingus for that 6 hour flight to Dublin!

 

Sometimes, it takes a Street Corner

It's been a while since I've updated our blog, however, I was struck over the weekend while watching a couple argue on a street corner. 

Roger and I were sipping beers in a local pub with a view of a rather busy street corner when we noticed the pair obviously in a disagreement.  She, short in stature compared to her lover, husband, or was it her boyfriend, with her arms folded, looking up at him. He, looking down at her, but without imposing an "I'm bigger than you attitude", emphatically stating his view of the arguement.  Soon there were tears, more emphatic words spoken, arm rubbing,  consolation, then hugs, then a kiss.  All on a street corner.

Just before this, we witnessed a couple in a tiff over parellel-parking. The lady was driving and the man insisted he needed to be the one to park the car.  As he was "expertly" backing into spot, (which was quite large I must say) his lady was standing on the sidewalk, again with arms crossed, emphatically stating, "I can do that!".  With the car safely parked, the couple darted across the street in front of us, spoke a few words, snatched a quick kiss, then hurried around the corner.

I told Roger that that is one of the hardest parts of marriage, settling conflict on the spot, sometimes with all the world to see. 

With friends, and sometimes family, you can brush off any perceived or real misdeeds and let the dust settle gradually over time.  That's the easiest way.  However, in marriage, you can't afford to let disagreements linger as they tend to unexpectedly blow up on you.  As much as you want to ignore and move on, as it sure beats trying to find a tissue in public or fix your make-up with whatever you find lingering in the bottom of your purse, (face it, the guy never cries) but at the end of it all, and at the end of the day, you sleep much more soundly and snuggle so much more closely when all has been resolved. 

Sometimes marriage is resolved on a street corner with passersby moving along and the world watching from a distance.

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What's not to Love About February!

Ah, the month of February. Valentine's Day, my birthday and wedding anniversary all within 8 days from start to finish. On the one hand I can say, "It's all about me!"". But fortunately I'm blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life who are also born in February.

I'll start with my beautiful mother, Loretta, who was born on her mother's birthday, Feb. 19. (Clearly a sign indicative of my lifelong impatience, I came 3 days too early to make the day a trifecta.) I never knew my maternal grandmother as she passed when my mother was only a toddler. Momma was the youngest of 6 children and was ultimately raised by "Mamaw", who had the unrivaled courage to marry man raising 6 kids! There's so much I've learned from my mom in terms of strength (which is a true test for me even today) and a grand sense of adventure. She has to realize she's to blame for me now living 2,000 from "home".

Next, is my phenomenal mother-in-law, Wanda. I must say, she was the originator of celebrating the "birthday month", which I'm more than happy to follow in this grand tradition. In reality, she celebrates all month long as it's impossible for her to fit into one single day all the lunches, dinners and long phone calls with friends and family whose lives have been touched by her constant caring and the long reach of her compassion for others.

And then there's other family members. Tara Davis, a spit-fire for sure, whose beautiful blue eyes just draw you into what ever she may be in the midst of. Melissa, my brother's step-daughter who's raising a beautiful daughter, both inside and out!

And then, there's my friends, Mary and Holly. We seemed to somewhat stumble into each other's lives almost 20 years ago and simply never missed a beat. There's many more to our little group, but they won't be mentioned by name as they weren't born in February! It's rare to form such strong bonds over one common interest, especially when that interest was "All My Children". And while our initial monthly get-togethers were solely for watching AMC, it wasn't long before that was last topic to come arise.

And so many others who share this month along with us. Too many high school friends to mention, co-workers and family members of friends! With a special shout out to Katie King, for without Katie, there'd be no Susan King in my life today!!!

So while February is the briefest month on the calendar, there's no other month that is so packed full of wonderful memories, special moments and all around festivities.

I Won the "2010 Erica Award"!

My acceptance speech is below. Completely unedited and uncut (because I don't know how) and unfortunately, unscripted!

My speech is garbled because it was a BELOW ZERO wind chill, not because I'd been swilling! Oh yeah, turn up your volume, the wind was drowning out my speech.

Graziella Dutreuille, a Child of Haiti

In the early 90's many Haitian children found themselves in tent cities on Guatanamo Bay without their parents. Many of these kids eventually found their way to relatives within the United States, and some just managed to get the United States, one of these children was Graziella Dutreuille.

I came to know her through Nortel Networks' affiliation with the local high schools, providing part-time employment to students, having hired her for my own department. Sadly, I witnessed first hand the affects of bigotry based solely on one's perceived lack of proficiency with the English language. Initially from a manager who came from the mid-west, who himself was adopted at an early age. Lastly, from a manager whose own family escaped to the United States when the Shah of Iran was run out of the country.

Graziella, a very wise, intelligent, talented individual who had to fight for survival even at Nortel, a company rife with multiple nationalities. A young lady so determined to make her way in the United States, that she lied about her age for the sole purpose of getting a high school diploma from the US, with dreams of obtaining a college diploma in International Relations.

I was taken aback when I learned that she was considerably older than the age she went by and perceived to be. However, as she confessed to me, she knew that those under the age of 18 had the greatest chances of surviving in the United States. She never asked for hand outs, only assistance. I need a bed, I need a small refrigerator, does anyone have an old sofa they want to get rid of. Who hasn't heard this from any college aged-student?

From my internet searches I believe Graziella is in still in the Dallas metroplex, however, I know the majority of her family remained behind in Haiti, a habitually poverty stricken nation, but I'm saddened that I'm not finding actual links that lead me to think that she has succeeded to the degree that she had hoped. So with that, I'm sharing an essay she gave me written on a typewriter on Feb. 14, 1999.

I hope you all take a moment to reflect upon her experience.
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"The mind is its own self can make a heaven of hell and a hell of heaven".

This quote is a good example that states that life is what one makes of it. We can feed our thoughts into believing life is a wonderful place-heaven or a dreadful depressing Place-hell. My attitude of life reflects just this. At the age of 14, I left my country (Haiti) in a boat to come to America. However, my journey was not easy as I spent eight months in a military camp at Guatanamo Bay Cuba; it was my vision of hell, but my mind empowered me to believe there was a heaven on earth and this hope made the future a journey to success.

I for example, am a very strong young woman who is ambitious and will strive to make things in life happen for me. We face many obstacles on the way which discourage us but to visualize the light at the end of the tunnel and to make our time on earth a beautiful existence, we can try to create our own heaven on earth.

My dream of heaven did come true. America was everything I dreamed it to be, but one things was a problem. I did not speak the language. I had to learn a new language, which was very difficult for me. Some people thought I was stupid; few seemed to pay attention to me. I lived a life having no family here to count on and hoped that it would soon be over. I tried hard to get through life by doing the best. Each day of my life I dreamt of living without loneliness. Sometimes things happen in life and there is nothing you can do to change it, you have to stand up and make it better for yourself. It can be hell but remember to turn it into heaven!

I lost most of everything that a person could possibly dream of in life but it did not kill me and I do not feel sorry for what has happened. This makes the mind and soul stronger. I take the rest of what I have left and I try harder. I dream of becoming somebody and that's one of the reasons I left my country. At this time America was the only solution to my dream.

In order to find the way to success and create my own heaven, I have to know where I stand and where I want to be, this makes me see clearly and I stay positive about life. In school I began to dream, to dream like an American, after all, I am living with the American dream. It is hard to hope for something when you do not see a way of getting it but you have to have faith and pride that it will happen.

Heaven to me is happiness and contentment. I aspire to have the opportunity to attend college, have a good job, and create a happy home and family. I know I will be in "heaven" soon here on earth and it is because I train my mind to make that choice.

Written by Graziella Dutreuille
2/14/99
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There are many ways, we as Americans can help, but first and foremost, is to not judge others by appearance or speech. Instead, take only a moment to get to know even the slightest bit about the the person in our midst. You never know, it may be another child that has came to our country without any benefit of family to catch them when they may fall.

Peeping Tom!

Here I was minding my own business, trying to get the yard mowed before dark. I had a small window of opportunity as the previous days had either been rainy or blustery. Before I began, I happened to grab my camera hoping to catch pictures of the foliage in the woods that back up to our yard. Suddenly I heard neighbors hollering at me and I turned around to find this hot air balloon lightly crashing through the tops of the trees.

Below are a two videos of the event. Click the arrow to play.


The Eagle has landed!
All the neighbors came spilling into our yard. The video below is of our neighbor Diane. She's a remarkable woman, recently diagnosed with MS. You'll rarely meet a more positive person!

The balloon basket was filled with 7 people standing shoulder to shoulder when it landed. Overall it was a big adventure indeed. Unfortunately Roger was on his way home and missed most of it. He did get home in time to watch them pack up, which is no easy feat.


You can see on the far right that I've resumed the initial task at hand as the sun has already set.